Subject: The Cats' Bill of Rights
From: Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Date: Thu Nov 11 1999 - 09:20:06 EST
"The Cats' Bill of Rights"
1. Humans shall make no law respecting an
establishment of boundaries or prohibiting the
free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom
of access, or the right to peaceful assembly.
In other words: The cat is entitled to go outside
anytime s/he wants.
2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being
necessary to the fulfillment of a feline's whims,
shall not be infringed. In other words: The cat
is entitled to EAT anytime s/he wants.
3. The right of the feline to be secure in their
domain, and effects, against unreasonable
discomposure, shall not be violated. In other
words: The cat is entitled to SLEEP anytime
s/he wants.
4. Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees
or edicts as prescribed to the demarcation of
possessions or property which are in direct
conflict with right of life, liberty, and the pursuit
of feline affirmation. In other words: The cat is
entitled to sleep ANYWHERE s/he wants.
5. The feline shall be immune to all criminal
accusations, indictments, and complaints.
The accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy
and impartial dismissal of any and all charges
provided said feline's compulsory right to
obtain any or all witnesses, including character
witnesses, are obtained in his favor. In other
words: Cats can do anything they want as
long as they're cute.
6. Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary
servitude will be tolerated, except by said cats
in proprietorship of their humans. In other words:
What I say goes. (And I can sleep on your face...)
7. No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or
at any other time, be quartered in any dwelling
without the consent of the potentate, nor in time
of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by
sovereign. In other words: No dogs in the house
without my permission.
8. The right of the feline to be protected against
unreasonable search and seizures shall not be
breached or infringed upon at any time or any
place. In other words: Don't disturb me when I
am sleeping in a drawer.
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