Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 25 Mar 1999 09:37:18 -0500
Please keep in mind that I do NOT agree with
some of the statements below. However, for
the sake of fairness, I kept the 100 intact.
I'll print the men's rebuttal tomorrow.
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"100 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman!"
1. We can get laid anytime we want.
2. We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
3. We pee sitting down so it's easier to pass out on
the toilet when you're drunk.
4. We get out of speeding tickets by crying.
5. We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little
cleavage or leg.
6. We can sleep our way to the top of the class.
7. We get to shop at Victoria's Secret.
8. We can marry rich and then not have to work.
9. We never have to pay when we go out on dates.
10. Men take us on all expense paid trips - all we
have to do is sleep with them
11. Men light our cigarettes for us.
12. Men hold the door open for us.
13. We pout better. (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
14. We're cuter.
15. We lie better.
16. We're better manipulators.
17. We always end up sleeping in the bed when we
fight with our other halves - you guys get the couch.
18. We always have food in the fridge.
19. We don't worry about losing our hair.
20. We always get to choose the movie.
21. We don't have to mow the lawn.
22. We don't have to take out the garbage.
23. We don't have to paint the house or walls.
24. PMS - yet another excuse to bitch at men.
25. Cosmopolitan.
26. We can con our way out of anything - not just
dig ourselves deeper into a hole.
27. Men unlock our side of the car first - a real bonus
when its cold.
28. PMS is a legal defense for murder.
29. Men are like tiles, lay 'em right the first time you
can walk all over em forever.
30. We can masturbate more in a day than men.
31. 2 words - multi orgasmic!
32. We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
33. Sweat is sexy on us.
34. We never run out of excuses.
35. You guys may get to think about sex 200 times
a day, but we could be having it that often.
36. Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game,
too.
37. We get expensive jewelry as gifts that we NEVER
have to give back.
38. We get candy, flowers and jewelry all the time
because men screw up so often.
39. We can give "the look" that will make any man
want to cower in the corner.
40. Women are cleaner.
41. Women have more than one erogenous zone.
(in case you guys didn't know)
42. We're better arguers.
43. We don't always have to think with our genitals.
44. Massage!!!!
45. We're better parents.
46. We never have to sit home alone on a weekend
night.
47. There's never a shortage of ready, willing, and
able men.
48. We're flexible.
49. When women get upset, we don't destroy
property or hurt people - we just take it out on the
world in general because we can.
50. Menopause - thank heaven we're not capable
of having children after we're 50.
51. Menstruation - just another excuse to use so
we can say "no" to sex.
52. Men in uniform.
53. There is no penis envy.
54. We can just roll over and go to sleep after we
masturbate because there's no messy cleanup.
55. It generally takes us less to get drunk.
56. We have a higher tolerance to pain.
57. We often get to cut in line.
58. Most women actually look good in short shorts -
men DON'T.
59. Better tips.
60. Women who don't wear underwear are
considered sexy and wild, when men do it, it's
rather disgusting
61. We have mastered civilized eating - we don't
embarrass our friends or make loud bodily noises
in public.
62. Women can go a day without showering or
shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank
heaven for long pants and perfume!
63. We can connive men into doing our homework,
writing our papers or carrying our books anytime
we want.
64. We don't have excessive amounts of body hair.
65. We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
66. Men will pay us for sex.
67. Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesn't make
us sterile.
68. We can throw a punch at a man and not get
hit in return.
69. Men may fantasize about having sex with more
than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with
an entire football team at once if we want.
70. Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to
the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us.
71. Women sweat less.
72. Women smell better.
73. When women make their boyfriends mad, we
don't have to waste money on flowers or cards -
a blow job and sex fixes all.
74. Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists
and cheats.
75. Women don't get the humor in the three stooges.
76. Women have three accessible holes.
77. We don't get embarrassed when buying tampons.
78. We're better gossips.
79. We have better fashion sense.
80. We're better shoppers.
81. We don't have to make fools out of ourselves
to impress a man.
82. Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping
with anyone.
83. Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about
(and I'm not gonna tell you)
84. We're all sitting on a gold mine - we know it and
use it to our extreme advantage.
85. We don't have to drive when on a date.
86. An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new
hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just
screwed.
87. Women can use the old "that mark on my neck
is from a curling iron burn" line.
88. Women know how fake it.
89. Women look better naked
90. We know that rhythm doesn't only pertain to
dancing.
91. When women are short, we're petite. When men
are short, they're just short.
92. Women do less time for violent crimes.
93. Women don't have to worry about not being able
to get it up.
94. An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time
any night.
95. Women's conversations generally consist of more
than just "uh huh, yep ok then bye"
96. Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood.
97. Women never have to see combat.
98. The remote control is not an extension of
ourselves.
99. Women are sexier.
and the 100th reason its better to be a woman - this one
is definitely worthy of reiteration:
100. We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE,
ANY WAY we want it!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Fri Mar 26 1999 - 09:00:02 EST