Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 24 Mar 1999 07:28:58 -0500
Don't you wish that all marital problems were solved
*this* easy?
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Dialog In The Darkness"
Wife: Oh, come on.
Husband: Leave me alone!
Wife: It won't take long.
Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Wife: I can't sleep without it.
Husband: Why do you think of things like this
in the middle of the night?
Wife: Because I'm Hot.
Husband: You get hot at the darnest times.
Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Wife: You don't love me anymore.
Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Wife: (Sob-Sob)
Husband: All right, I'll do it.
Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight?
Husband: I can't find it.
Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Husband: There! Are you satisfied?
Wife: Oh, yes, honey.
Husband: Is it down far enough?
Wife: Oh, that's fine.
Husband: Now go to sleep. The next time, it's
your turn to get up and turn the thermostat down.
Wife: Yes, honey.
************************************************************
"What Every Man Expects In A Wife:"
She will always be beautiful and cheerful.
She could marry a movie star, but wants only
you.
She will have hair that never needs curlers
or beauty shops.
Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm.
She will never be sick--just allergic to jewelry
and fur coats.
She will insist that moving the furniture by
herself, it's good for her figure.
She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning
house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house,
and keeping quiet.
Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn
and shoveling snow.
She will hate charge cards.
Her favorite expression will be, "What can
I do for you, Dear?"
She will think you have Einstein's brain but
look like Mr. America.
She will wish you would go out with the boys
so that she could get some sewing done.
She will love you because you're so sexy.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Wed Mar 24 1999 - 09:00:04 EST