Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Tue, 23 Mar 1999 10:39:31 -0500
A couple of jokes from the Jewish folklore for you.
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Sabbath Sex"
A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is
a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.
He asks a priest for his opinion on this question.
The priest says after consulting the Bible, 'My son,
after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is
work and is not permitted on Sundays.'
The man thinks: 'What does a priest know of sex?'
He goes to the minister...a married man, experienced..
for the answer. He queries the minister and receives
the same reply.. Sex is work and not for the Sabbath.
Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out the ultimate
authority: a man of thousands of years tradition and
knowledge... A Rabbi.
The Rabbi ponders the question and states, 'My son,
sex is definitely play.' The man replies, 'Rabbi, how
can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex
is work?!'
The Rabbi softly speaks, 'If sex were work... my wife
would have the maid do it.'
***********************************************************
"The Cow" (A LadyHawke's Favorite)
The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped
giving milk. The people did some research and
found that they could buy a cow from Moscow for
2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles.
Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk. The
cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the
time, and the people were amazed and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow
and produce more cows like it. Then they would
never have to worry about the milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their
beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came
close to the cow, the cow would move away. No
matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would
move away from the bull and he could not succeed
in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the
rabbi, who was very wise, what to do. They told the
rabbi what was happening;
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves
away. If he approaches from the back, she moves
forward. When he approaches her from the front,
she backs off. An approach from the side and she
just walks away to the other side.
The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked,
"Did you buy this cow from Minsk?" The people were
dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they
had gotten the cow. "You are truly a wise rabbi. How
did you know we got the cow from Minsk?"
The rabbi answered sadly, "My wife is from Minsk."
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