Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 11 Mar 1999 13:49:05 -0500
"If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer!"
If you messed up your life, you could press
"Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the
sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click
settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the
display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.
You would use your diskette to recover from
a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a
Pizza would be on its way to YOU...
***********************************************************
"The Keys To The Keyboard"
For a computer programming class, I sat directly
across from someone and our computers were
facing away from each other. A few minutes into
the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached
between our computers and switched the inputs
for the keyboards. She came back and started typing
and immediately got a distressed look on her face.
She called the teacher over and explained that no
matter what she typed, nothing would happen. The
teacher tried everything. By this time I was hiding
behind my monitor and quaking red-faced.
I started to type, "Leave me alone!"
They both jumped back, silenced.
"What the . . . " the teacher said.
I typed, "I said leave me alone!"
The kid got real upset. "I didn't do anything to it, I swear!"
It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud.
The conversation between them and HAL 2000 went on
for an amazing five minutes.
Me: "Don't touch me!"
Her: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit your keys that hard."
Me: "Who do you think you are anyway?!" Etc., etc, etc...
Finally, I couldn't contain myself any longer and fell out
of my chair laughing. After they had realized what I had
done, they both turned beet red.
Funny, I never got more than a "C" in that class....
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Fri Mar 12 1999 - 09:00:02 EST