Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 25 Feb 1999 19:00:55 -0500
Personally, I am not fond of practical jokes and would
never inflict such a thing on an innocent person. I have
to admit, though, that some people are just asking for it.
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Protective Computer Gear"
Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There
was a new secretary (a very attractive blonde, of course?)
in the office down the hall from me. She flagged me
down and asked for help. "My floppy drive won't work,
can you help me ?" she asked.
I told her I'd take a look and proceeded over to her
machine, where I found shredded up clear plastic
Baggie-like stuff hanging out of her 3.5" floppy drive.
While I spent the next 20 minutes getting out her disk
and digging out the plastic, I noticed two guys, John
and Dave, in the hall trying awfully hard to keep straight
faces. Suspecting some mischief, I asked her how the
plastic got into the drive.
"Oh, you mean the condom!", she said.
"Condom???", I asked.
"Yes, John & Dave over there told me to always put
a condom on my disk before inserting it, to prevent
catching viruses."
By this point, John & Dave were roaring, and it was
all I could do to keep from joining them. The "condom"
turned out to be a standard 3.5" plastic sleeve. I
delicately explained to her that a practical joke had
been played, and she shouldn't do that anymore,
when she asked (as serious as one could be):
"Does that mean I don't have to stroke it ten times or
blow on it either???"
***********************************************************
"Old Pilot"
There was an aged pilot who was known for being
obnoxious. Not only did the flight attendants hate him
for his crude remarks but the other pilots despised him
for giving all pilots a bad name.
Seems he was particularly infamous for calling the flight
attendants in their hotel rooms shortly after reaching the
layover hotel. This call was generally an indecent proposal.
Although this proposition was universally declined, he
obviously maintained hope that some day his luck would
change.
One evening after a long day he made his regular phone
call to a young flight attendant who had been very nice to
him all day. With hopes high he suggested that he come
to her room. Being a new hire and impressed with his
position of authority she somewhat reluctantly agreed on
the condition that the other members of the crew be kept
in the dark the following day. Our intrepid aviator gladly
agreed to her terms.
Thinking that he would make quick work of this neophyte
he ran to the elevator all the while thinking of the bragging
rights that he would soon have. Reaching her room he
found the door ajar. Upon entering he heard the shower
running. The young but not so innocent flight attendant
called out to him,
"You'll find some wine on the desk. Why don't you pour
a couple of glasses and join me for a shower?"
Not believing his good fortune his trembling hands poured
the wine and tore off his clothes. Fully at attention and with
a drink in both hands he threw open the bathroom door.
Inside he found the beautiful young flight attendant and the
rest of the flight crew, fully clothed.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Fri Feb 26 1999 - 09:00:03 EST