Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 22 Feb 1999 13:10:04 -0500
I usually don't reprint things directly from other
humor lists even if they are a public domain.
However, I think this little list is just too cute.
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Bathing Like A Man"
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile on the floor.
Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your
girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck
in your gut to see if you have pecs. (no)
Turn on the water.
Check for pecs again. (still no)
Get in the shower.
Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use
one).
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Wash your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt.
Shampoo your hair. (Do not use conditioner)
Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Draw a smilie face on fogged up shower door.
Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror.
Pee.
Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Return to the bedroom wearing a towel. If you
pass your girlfriend/wife, flash her.
Phardon.
***********************************************************
<>*<>*<>*<>*<> Quickie du Jour <>*<>*<>*<>*<>
A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks
what his testicles are. "Those are the Apples of the
Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.
Impressed, the girl then tells this to her mother, who
replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch
they're hanging on?"
<>*<>*<>*<>*<><>*<>*<>*<>*<><>*<>*<>*<<>*<>*<>
"It's All About Timing..."
While away at a convention, an executive happened
to meet a young woman who was pretty and intelligent.
When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room,
he found out she had a superb body as well.
Unfortunately, the executive found himself unable
to perform.
On his first night home, the executive walked from
the shower into the bedroom to find his wife covered
in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her face
creamed, munching candy loudly while she pored
through a movie magazine. And then, without
warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent raging
erection.
Looking down at his Mr. Happy, the executive
snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a
bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"
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