Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 02 Aug 1999 03:49:14 -0400
"MIT Application"
Mr. John T. Mongan
123 Main Street
Smalltown, California 94123-4567
Dear John:
You've got the grades. You've certainly
got the PSAT scores. And now you've
got a letter from MIT. Maybe you're
surprised. Most students would be.
But you're not most students. And that's
exactly why I urge you to consider
carefully one of the most selective
universities in America.
The level of potential reflected in your
performance is a powerful indicator that
you might well be an excellent candidate
for MIT. It certainly got my attention!
Engineering's not for you? No problem.
It may surprise you to learn we offer
more than 40 major fields of study, from
architecture to brain and cognitive
sciences, from economics (perhaps the
best program in the country) to writing.
What? Of course, you don't want to be
bored. Who does? Life here *is* tough
*and* demanding, but it's also *fun*.
MIT students are imaginative and
creative - inside and outside the classroom.
You're interested in athletics? Great! MIT
has more varsity teams - 39 - than almost
any other university, and a tremendous
intramural program so everybody can
participate.
You think we're too expensive? Don't be
too sure. We've got surprises for you
there, too.
Why not send the enclosed Information
Request to find out more about this
unique institution? Why not do it right now?
Sincerely,
Michael C. Benhke Director of Admissions
P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled,
fact-filled brochure, "Insight," just check
the appropriate box on the form.
***********************************************************
"MIT Application Response"
Michael C. Behnke
MIT Director of Admissions
Office of Admissions, Room 3-108
Cambridge MA 02139-4307
Dear Michael:
You've got the reputation. You've
certainly got the pomposity. And now
you've got a letter from John Mongan.
Maybe you're surprised. Most
universities would be.
But you're not most universities. And
that's exactly why I urge you to
carefully consider one of the most
selective students in America, so
selective that he will choose only *one*
of the thousands of accredited
universities in the country.
The level of pomposity and lack of tact
reflected in your letter is a powerful
indicator that your august institution
might well be a possibility for John
Mongan's future education. It certainly
got my attention!
Don't want Bio-Chem students?
No problem. It may surprise you to
learn that my interests cover over 400
fields of study, from semantics to
limnology, from object-oriented
programming (perhaps one of the
youngest professionals in the country)
to classical piano.
What? Of course you don't want
egotistical jerks. Who does? I am self
indulgent *and* over confident, but I'm
also amusing. John Mongan is funny
and amusing - whether you're laughing
with him or at him.
You're interested in athletes? Great!
John Mongan has played more sports -
47 - than almost any other student,
including oddball favorites such as
Orienteering.
You think I can pay for your school?
Don't be too sure. I've got surprises
for you there, too.
Why not send a guaranteed admission
and full scholarship to increase your
chance of being selected by John
Mongan? Why not do it right now?
Sincerely,
John Mongan
P.S. If you'd like a copy of a fun-filled,
fact-filled brochure, "John Mongan:
What a Guy!" just ask.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Mon Aug 02 1999 - 09:00:01 EDT