Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 02 Aug 1999 03:46:04 -0400
"Married vs Single"
Q. Why are married women heavier
than single women?
A. Single women come home, see
what's in the fridge and go to bed.
...Married women come home, see
what's in bed, and then go to the fridge.
************************************************************
"Hubby & Scale"
A husband stepped on one of those
penny scales that tell you your fortune
and weight and dropped in a coin.
"Listen to this," he said to his wife,
showing her a small, white card. "It says
I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a
great lover."
"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has
your weight wrong, too."
************************************************************
"Men Are Like...."
Men are like ... newborn babies
They're cute at first, but you get tired
of picking up their crap.
Men are like ... coffee
The best ones are rich, hot and can
keep you up all night.
Men are like ... computers.
Hard to figure out and never enough
memory.
Men are like ... coolers.
Load them with beer and you can
take them anywhere.
Men are like ... chocolate bars.
Sweet, smooth and they usually head
right for your hips.
Men are like .... power tools
They make a lot of noise, but it's hard
to get them to work.
Men are like ... remote controls
Simple. Easy to use. And usually
lying around a TV.
Men are like ... shag carpets.
Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk
on.
Men are like ... vacuum cleaners
They're not much fun, but at least you
get to push them around.
Men are like ... road kill
They usually just lie around until they
start to smell.
Men are like ... soap operas
They're fun to watch, but don't believe
everything you hear.
Men are like ... pillows
Eventually, even the best ones get soft
and lumpy.
Men are like ... old car tires
Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts
to have a spare.
Men are like ... plastic wrap
Cheap. Clingy. and very easy to see
through.
Men are like .... department stores
Their clothes should always be half
off.
Men are like ... horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are
usually wrong.
Men are like ... cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time
to get hard.
Men are like ... plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a
hardware store or the bathroom
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Mon Aug 02 1999 - 09:00:01 EDT