Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 26 Apr 1999 09:23:28 -0400
"The Texan"
A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a
new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when
asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him,
answered, "Yes ma'am. Ya see, I'm from Texas and
I want to buy a complete outfit."
"Well," her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where you
would like to start?"
"Well, ma'am, how about a suit?"
"Yes, sir ... What size?"
"Size 53 ... tall, ma'am"
"Wow ... That's really big."
"Yes, ma'am ... They really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?" she asked.
He replied, "How's about some shoes?"
"What size?"
"Size 15 ... double D."
"Wow ... That's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am ... They really grow them big in Texas."
"What's next?"
"Well, ... I reckon I'll need a shirt."
"Yes, sir ... what size?"
"Nineteen and a half ... 38," he replied.
"Wow ... That's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am ... They really grow them big in Texas."
"Will there be anything else?" she crooned.
"Yes, ma'am, I expect I'll need a hat."
"Yes, sir, what size?"
"Nine and five-eights."
"Wow ... That's really big!"
"Yes, ma'am ... They really grow them big in Texas."
She virtually glowed as she asked, "Whew ... is there
anything else I can do for you?"
"No ma'am, I reckon that will be all."
Well, the sweet young thing tallied up his bill and as the
Texan was counting out his money ... Then she worked
up some nerve and asked, "Sir, could I ask you... er...
a ... question?"
"Yes, ma'am, I already know what it is ... and the answer
is ... four inches."
She is astonished and blurts out indignantly,
"Why, my boyfriend is bigger than that!"
Without so much as a stutter the Texan replied,
"Across, ma'am?"
************************************************************
"Texas Baby"
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar
and announced that his wife had just produced a
typical Texas baby, weighing a whooping twenty
pounds.
"WOW!" was the response from everyone at the bar.
Two weeks later the Texan returned to the bar. The
bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you
the father of the baby that weighed twenty pounds
at birth? How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "10 pounds."
The bartender said, "Why? I know that babies lose
some weight after birth, but ten pounds? He did
weigh twenty pounds, didn't he? What happened?"
The proud Texas father said, "Just had him circumcised!"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Apr 27 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT