Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Mon, 26 Apr 1999 09:14:58 -0400
"Suicide Watch?"
Why do they put a suicide watch on certain death row
prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning
to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?
I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who,
on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug
overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life,
then brought him back to prison and killed him.
Apparently, just to piss him off.
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"On Lawyers..."
Children who never come when called will grow up
to be doctors.
Children who come before they are called will grow
up to be lawyers.
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As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he said,
"Why are all the blinds drawn?"
The doctor answered, "There's a big fire across the
street, and we didn't want you to think the operation
was a failure."
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A patient goes to see a surgeon about having a heart
transplant. The surgeon says: "I'll give you a choice:
you can either have the heart of 25-year-old marathon
runner or a 60-year-old lawyer. Which do you want?"
The patient answers, "Easy -- let me have the lawyer's."
The surgeon, dumbfounded, says, "Why would you
pick the heart of a 60-year-old lawyer over a 25-year-old
marathon runner?"
The patient replies, "I want one that's never been used."
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Oh yeah, and one more classic..............
A lawyer and a used car salesman meet on the sidewalk
one day and are standing there chatting, when along
comes a young, long-legged, drop-dead-gorgeous gal
in a short skirt.
The used car salesman's eyes are glued on the woman
as she passes. Then he says to the lawyer, "Man, I'd
sure like to screw her."
To which the lawyer replied, "Out of what?"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Tue Apr 27 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT