Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 15 Apr 1999 06:59:43 -0400
Along with a few hate letters, I received an overwhelming
support for my "Remembrence" mailing. I would like to
thank you, my readers, for understanding me and
appreciating what I'm trying to do.
And now, on with the humor... I just came home after
thoroughly enjoying "Ragtime," the musical on Broadway.
But I'm fresh out of theater jokes, so I'll have to stick with
'home theatrics.'
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Facial Expressions"
FATHER: "When you go back to your Mom's tonight,
give her this envelope and tell her that since you are
now 18, this is the LAST check she'll ever see from
me for child support. Then, stand back and watch
the expression on her face."
DAUGHTER: "O.K."
Later.......
DAUGHTER: "Mom, Dad asked me to give you this
envelope. He said to tell you that since I'm now 18,
this is the LAST child support payment he'll ever
have to make to you. Now I'm supposed to stand
back and watch the expression on your face."
MOTHER: "Next time you visit your father, tell him
that after 18 years I have decided to inform him
that he's not your father. Then, stand back and
watch the expression on HIS face."
***********************************************************
"Stoned Lover" (A LadyHawke's Favorite)
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard
her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she
said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby
oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum
powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered.
"Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he
entered the room.
"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly.
"The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked
it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later
that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning the husband got out of
bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later
with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something. I
stood like an idiot at the Smiths' for three days, and
nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
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