Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Thu, 15 Apr 1999 07:05:44 -0400
Since I am a Tax Geek, I can identify with this!
It's April 15th! FREEDOM!!!!!
LadyHawke
~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Top Ten New Advertising Campaign Themes for Accountants:"
When The "Baltimore Business Journal" reported on
August 25, 1995 about the image realignment wanted
by accountants, they had no idea that Robert Prentice,
Professor at the University of Texas at Austin would
pick it up.
They reported that, "The industry's trade group plans to
spend $3 million this year to make over the humble
accountant's image." Mr. Prentice saw this as a call to action,
and he quickly marshaled his students in LEB 380.17
(Liability of Accountants) to come up with pithy new slogans
for use in the new marketing push. The results of their
laborious efforts are here, in "Top Ten" format:
10. No matter how low we sink, we're always a step above lawyers.
9. Let the lawyers do the lying -- leave the manipulating to us.
8. We may be geeky, but at least we're not lawyers.
7. You may not like us, but at least we're not lawyers. (At this point,
you may be thinking to yourself, "Self, I think I sense a pattern
here!"
But you'd be wrong -- read on!)
6. Just count it!
5. Have you hugged your accountant today?
4. If you don't look good, we don't look good.
3. After you pay our bill, the IRS's bill won't bother you.
2. We check to make sure you're balanced.
--And, the Number 1 suggested marketing topic,
formulated by Xavier Peħa:
1. Accountants: Always there to cover your assets!
***********************************************************
"You Might Be An Accountant If...."
1. Your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing
to fill out the guest comment card.
2. You refer to your child as Deduction 214.
3. You deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses."
4. At the movie "Indecent Proposal" you did a NPV
calculation. (And you actually know what NPV is.)
5. You decide to change your name to a symbol
and you choose the double underline "======"
6. You have no idea that GAP (sic) is also a clothing store
************************************************************
"Death Bed"
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and
said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die,
you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do
with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope
and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write
on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."
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