When Blue Collar workers get together, they talk
about football...
When Middle Management get together, they talk
about tennis...
When Top Management gets together, they talk
about golf...
Logical Conclusion:
The higher up you are in management, the smaller
your balls are.
**********************************************************
"10 Minutes Late?"
So, there are three golfers, (Bob, Max and Ted) who are
looking for a fourth.
Bob mentions that his friend George is a pretty good golfer,
so they decide to invite him for the following Saturday.
"Sure, I'd love to play," says George, "but I may be about ten
minutes late, so wait for me."
So Saturday rolls around. Bob, Max, and Ted arrive
promptly at 9:00 and find George already waiting for them.
He plays right-handed and beats them all.
Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask him if he'd like
to play again the following Saturday.
"Yeah, sounds great," says George. "But I maybe about ten
minutes late, so wait for me."
The following Saturday, again, all four golfers show up
on time, but this time George plays left-handed and beats
them all. As they're getting ready to leave, George says,
"See you next Saturday, but I may be about ten minutes
late, so wait for me."
Every week, George is right on time and plays great with
whichever hand he decides to use. And every week, he
departs with the same message.
After a couple months, Ted is pretty tired of this routine,
so he says, "Wait a minute, George. Every week you say
you may be about ten minutes late, but you're right on
time. You beat us either left-handed or right-handed.
What's the story?"
"Well," George says, "I'm kind of superstitious. When I get
up in the morning, I look at my wife. If she's sleeping on
her left side, I play left-handed, and if she's sleeping on her
right side, I play right-handed."
"So what do you do if she's sleeping on her back?" Bob asks.
"Well... That's when I'm about ten minutes late."
******************************************************************
"Private Lessons" {Proceed at your own risk.}
A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them
are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private
lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro
sees his swing, he says, "No no, no, you're gripping the club
way too hard!"
"Well, what should I do?" asks the man.
"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold
your wife's breast."
The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He
hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes
back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait
for her lesson.
The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches
her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club
way too hard."
"What can I do?" asks the wife. "Hold the club gently, just
like you'd hold your husband's penis." The wife listens
carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP.
The ball goes straight down the fairway. . . about 15 ft.
"That was great," the pro says with a straight face. "Now,
take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're
supposed to!"