Clutz... Uncoordinated person: She's such a klutz,
she breaks dishes all the time.
Ganif...Thief: Don't be such a ganif
Gelt... Money: I got a lot of gelt for Chanukah.
Goyim... Non-Jewish people: The place was full of
goyim.
Kakamayme... Crazy: He's got cacamaimey ideas.
Kvel ...To glow with pride: I could kvell watching those
kids in the play.
Kvetch... Complainer: Don't be such a kvetch.
Mazel...Luck: I got such a mazel.
Mentsh... A nice gentleman, good person: He was
such a mench.
Mishigas... Craziness: What kind of mishigas is that?
Mishpuchas... Family: He has a mishige mishpuchas.
Miskayt... Ugly: The daughter is a real meeskite.
Nebish... Little nerd: He is such a nebbish.
Nosh... To eat a little something: I was noshing all
morning.
Putz... Penis, unlucky person: Poor putzel keeps
walking into walls.
Schmootz... Dirt: It's covered with schmootz.
Schmuck... Penis, also a man who is not a gentleman,
ie a jerk: He's such a schmuck!
Shikse... Non-Jewish female: He's going out with a
shiksah.
Shlemazl... Unlucky person: The poor schlemazel had
his car stolen.
Shlemil... Fool: He's a real schlemiel, always screwing
up.
Shmatas... Rags: Your clothes look like shmatas.
Shpilkes... Nervous energy: I had shpilkes before the
interview.
Shtik... Routine: That's his shtick.
Tsures... Troubles: That car gives me nothing but tsures.
*****************************************************
"Suggestions For Tashlich"
Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old
bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and
religious sensitivity. Instead, this coming Rosh
Hashanah consider these options:
For ordinary sins, use White Bread
For exotic sins, French Bread
For particularly dark sins, Pumpernickel
For complex sins, Multi-grain
For twisted sins, Pretzels
For tasteless sins, Rice Cakes
For sins of indecision, Waffles
For sins committed in haste, Matzah
For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes,
Shmurah Matzah
For sins of chutzpah, Fresh Bread
For substance abuse, Poppy Seed
For committing arson, Toast
For committing auto theft, Caraway
For being ill tempered, Sourdough
For silliness, Nut Bread
For not giving full value, Shortbread
For jingoism, Yankee Doodles
For excessive use of irony, Rye Bread
For telling bad jokes, Corn Bread
For hardening our hearts, Jelly doughnuts
For being money hungry, Enriched Bread or Raw
Dough
For war-mongering, Kaiser Rolls
For immodest dressing, Tarts
For causing injury or damage to others, Tortes
For promiscuity, Hot Buns
For racism, Crackers
For sophisticated racism, Ritz Crackers
For davening off tune, Flat Bread
For being holier than thou, Bagels
For unfairly upbraiding another, Challah
For indecent photography, Cheese Cake
For trashing the environment, Dumplings
For sins of laziness, Any Very Long Loaf
For sins of pride, Puff Pastry
For lying, Baked Goods with Nutrasweet and Olestra
For wearing tasteless hats, Tam Tams
For the sins of the righteous, Angel Food Cake
For selling your soul, Devils Food Cake
For lust in your heart, Wonder Bread
For inhaling, Stoned Wheat