Clinton is so far ahead that he's dating again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Leon Panetta entered the Oval Office and said,
"Mr. President, we're going to have to do something
about this abortion bill."
Clinton said, "I'm getting tired of hearing about it, just
pay the darn thing!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even though Chelsea is in California at Stanford,
President Clinton is acting like she's still at the White
House. Yesterday he invited all of her friends over for
a pajama party.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Center For Disease Control in Atlanta today
issued an URGENT WARNING:
The President has proven that you can get sex
from aides.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"First Dog" (From TGerusky@aol.com)
I heard on the news recently that they are going to
neuter Buddy, the First Dog. Maybe I'm missing
something, but haven't they got the wrong guy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"New Cure" (From mminnies@csc.com)
Clinton was walking around the White House with a pair
of ladies panties on his arm. Everyone was looking at him
and wondering what he was doing now. After about an
hour one guy got brave enough to ask him what he was
doing with the pair of ladies panties on his arm.
Clinton replied,
"Oh, that? It's the patch. I'm trying to quit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Virgin Mary" (From SirStoned1@aol.com)
Clinton and the Pope die on the same day, and due
to some administrative foul up, Clinton gets sent to
Heaven and the Pope gets sent to Hell.
The Pope explains the situation to the Hell
administration. They check their paperwork, and the
error is acknowledged. They explain, however, that it
will take about 24 hours to make the switch.
The next day, the Pope is called in. The Hell
administration bids him farewell and he heads for Heaven.
On the way up, he meets Clinton on his way down, and
they stop to chat.
Pope: "Sorry about the mix up."
Clinton: "No problem."
Pope: "Well, I'm really excited about going to Heaven."
Clinton: "Why is that?"
Pope: "All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."
Clinton: "Er... You're a day late."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jogging" (From AndeeReg@aol.com)
Bill Clinton went jogging one evening and came upon
the Washington Monument.
He said, "George, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, George replied,
"Abolish the IRS and start over."
Bill thought about this for a few seconds and continued
jogging. Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial
and stopped there.
He said, "Tom, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Tom replied,
"Abolish welfare and start over."
Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and
came upon the Lincoln Memorial.
He said, "Abe, what should I do?"
After a few seconds, Abe replied,
"Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, I know. This medley of jokes bites sharply.
However, one should bless the country where a person
can freely say those things about the highest official of
our government without a fear of retaliation. - LadyHawke