Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Sat, 12 Dec 1998 06:59:27 -0500
"The Pill"
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was
always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened
to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to
his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he
went to bed.
Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He
had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
~~~~~
I guess, this Tom guy didn't have the Tempur-Pedic mattress...
{hehehe} - LadyHawke
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>* Quickie du Jour *<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see
his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three
hours trying to find it."
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
"Best Excuses If You Get Caught Sleeping In Your Cubicle..."
It's okay... I'm still billing the client.
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the
last time-management course you sent me to.
I was working smarter, not harder.
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement
and envisioning a new paradigm!"
This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!
I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance
I'm in the management training program
Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan"
(SLEEP) you learned at the last mandatory seminar your boss
made you attend.
This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamt
about work!
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve
work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people
who practice Yoga?"
Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a
solution to our biggest problem.
The coffee machine is broken....
Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot.
Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!
It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?
I was cross-training for telecommuting.
Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the
workaholic!
Wasn't sleeping. Was trying to pick up contact lens without
hands.
The mailman flipped out and took out a gun so I was playing
dead to avoid getting shot.
I thought you (boss) were gone for the day.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Sat Dec 12 1998 - 09:00:01 EST