Chicken Kiev

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             FOOD FUNNY
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Thanks to Sharon Mitcheltree for this:

M&M's: The Theory of Evolution

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue
the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and
the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that
the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of
competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be
a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra
strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest
of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I
pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of
Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 USA, along with a 3x5 card
reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

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             TODAY'S RECIPE
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My research tells me that this dish is unknown in Kiev, and that it is
not clear how the dish got its name. Who cares, as long as it's delicious, right?

Chicken Kiev

4 to 6 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
4 to 6 Tbs (60-90 ml) butter
2 Tbs (30 ml) finely chopped chives
2 Tbs (30 ml) chopped parsley
1 Tbs (15 ml) chopped tarragon
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
Flour, beaten egg, and bread crumbs for coating
Vegetable oil for frying

Pound the chicken to a 1/4 inch (5 mm) thickness. Combine the butter,
chives, parsley, tarragon, salt, and pepper. Divide the butter mixture
between the chicken breast halves, spreading it on one side of each.
Roll the chicken breasts so that the butter mixture is on the inside and
secure with a toothpick. Dust lightly with flour, dip in the beaten egg,
and coat with the bread crumbs. Fry in a heavy skillet with about 1/2
inch vegetable oil, or use a deep fryer, until golden brown. Drain on paper towels.
Serves 3 to 4.
Received on Sun Aug 3 18:46:40 2008