Cream of Corn Soup

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            FOOD FUNNY
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Thanks to Elaine F. for sending us these food safety guidelines:

ICE CREAM - If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes
and your ice cream, it's time to throw both out.

FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the
defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be
spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a
kitchen knife.

EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg
is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS - Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage
cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular
cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway, and, if you can dig down
and still find something non-green, bon appetit!

MEAT - If opening the refrigerator door causes animals from a
three-block radius to begin congregating outside your house, it is
time to toss the meat.

UNMARKED ITEMS - You know it is well beyond prime when you're
tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food.

CANNED GOODS - Any canned goods that have become the size or
shape of a softball should be disposed of -- very carefully.

POTATOES - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense and
leafy undergrowth.

BREAD - Sesame seeds and poppy seeds are the only officially
acceptable spots that should be seen on the surface of any piece of
bread. Fuzzy-looking white or green growth areas are good indications
that your bread has turned into a specimen for a pharmaceutical
laboratory experiment.

CEREAL - It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be
discarded when it is two years or more beyond the expiration date, or
when it will no longer fall out of the box by itself.

FLOUR - Flour is spoiled if it wiggles or if things fly out when you
open it.

PRETZELS - Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if they can no
longer be picked up without falling apart. Otherwise, there's nothing
to stop you from eating a pretzel that the Pharaoh may have put down
only 4000 years ago.

RAISINS - Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth.

SALT - It never spoils. However, if you can't chip off reasonable
amounts from the block, maybe another box is in order, as fresh salt
usually pours all by itself.

SPICES - Most spices do not die, they just fade away. They will be
fine on your shelf forever if you keep the covers on tightly. If you
wanted to, you could probably put them in your will.

VINEGAR - If your grandmother made it, it is probably still good.

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            TODAY'S RECIPE
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You can use frozen or canned corn for this recipe, but for best
results use fresh corn and remove it from the cob as described in the
recipe.

Cream of Corn Soup

2 1/2 cups (625 ml) fresh, frozen, or canned corn
3 Tbs (45 ml) butter
1/2 onion, finely chopped
3 Tbs (45 ml) all-purpose flour
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
A grating of fresh nutmeg
4 cups (1 L) milk
1 cup (250 ml) half-and half or light cream
2-3 slices bacon, fried crisp and crumbled

If using fresh corn, working over a large plate or shallow bowl, cut
the kernels from the cob and scrape the cob with the back of the knife
to extract the juices. Collect the kernels and juices and set aside.
Heat the butter in a large pot over moderate heat and saute the onion
until it is tender but not brown, about 5 minutes. Stir in the flour,
salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Cook for 3 minutes, stirring frequently.
Stir in the milk and cream and bring to a simmer, stirring frequently.
Stir in the corn and simmer until tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Serve
garnished with crumbled bacon. Serves 4 to 6.
Received on Tue Jun 15 09:45:09 2004