Unicorn (Unicorn@Indenial.com)
Wed, 22 Sep 1999 06:15:05 -0400
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: FOOD FUNNY :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Reader Terry Leon of Georgetown, Ontario, warned me that this is a
long one. It's also a good one.
A long time ago when Canada was being settled, a group of people
headed west in a wagon train from the east coast. The wagon train
leader was very inexperienced and soon the people realized they were
hopelessly lost. After wandering for weeks and weeks, their food
supplies were gone and winter was fast approaching.
As the group came over a hill they saw the first person they had seen
for days; a strange old man sitting beneath a tree. The leader of the
wagon train approached the man. "Can you help us? We're heading west
but we're lost and all our food is gone. We're starving."
The old man replied, "You know, I can see the future.... Wait.. I'm
getting a vision now." He held one hand to his brow and closed his
eyes in concentration. "It's coming. Oh yes, I see, I see."
"I know what you must do. Go up this hill and down the other side.
Go through the forest and across the stream. Then go up the next hill
and down to the valley below. There you will find a bacon tree."
"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon tree leader.
"A bacon tree. Trust me. I can see the future."
The wagon train leader shrugged and headed off. The group followed
the strange old man's directions exactly. They went up the hill, down
the other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next
hill and down to the valley below. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not a
thing and especially not a bacon tree.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, came Indians from all sides. It was
a massacre. All but one man was killed and even he was seriously
wounded. He crawled up the hill, crawled across the stream, crawled
through the forest, crawled up the hill and crawled down into the
valley. There, under the tree was that same strange old man, still
there where they had left him.
The injured man crawled up to him and started shouting... "What were
you thinking? You sent us all to our deaths! We followed your
instructions to the letter! We went up the hill, down the other side,
through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and down the
valley below. NO BACON TREE! Just Indians, thousands of them!
They're all DEAD!
The man held up his hand and said "Wait for it... I'm getting a
vision.... Uhuh. Ooooh. Oh, I get it....."
"Oh my, I made a mistake... Twas not a bacon tree... Twas a hambush.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::: TODAY'S RECIPE ::::::::::::::::::::::::::
This is a Vietnamese variation on the classic omelette. Cooked shrimp
may be substituted for the crab, but the crab version is more often
found in Vietnamese restaurants.
Crab Omelette
6 to 8 eggs
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1 Tbs (15 ml) peanut oil
2 scallions (spring onions,) thinly sliced,
including the green parts
1 hot chilli pepper, finely sliced (optional)
6 oz (170 g) crab meat, picked over to
remove bits of cartilage
1 Tbs (15 ml) fish sauce* (nuoc mam)
* Available in finer supermarkets and Asian specialty shops.
Beat the eggs and season with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a
large, heavy skillet over moderate heat. Saute the scallions and
chilli pepper, stirring frequently, for a minute or two. Add the crab
meat and fish sauce and cook an additional 1 or 3 minutes. Remove
this mixture to a small plate. Add more oil to the pan if necessary.
Pour the beaten eggs into the same pan and cook, using a fork to draw
the cooked eggs away from the edge of the pan and allowing the
uncooked eggs to flow back towards the edge. Cook until firmly set on
the bottom and creamy on top. Spoon the crab mixture down the center
of the omelette and fold it in half. Turn the omelette onto a heated
serving platter. Serves 4 to 6.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.0b3 on Wed Sep 22 1999 - 09:00:02 EDT