Birthday Gift

"Birthday Gift"*

*A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wife's BIG birthday.

His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something
in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in under 10 seconds."

The next morning the wife found a small package in
the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

{This joke is about the upper 2% of the population.
The rest of us don't give cars as gifts.}

***************************************************************

"House Help"*

*My wife and I take turns walking our five-year-old
daughter to the bus stop for school every morning.
Today was my turn, and as me and all the other
moms in the neighborhood waited one of them
asked me to say hello to my wife.

"I will," I said. "it'll make her feel better. She has pneumonia..."

"Oh, poor girl," they all said in unison.

One of them crooked her eyebrow at me and
said, "I hope you're helping her with the kids, the
cooking and cleaning."

"I can't," I said pointing to the band aid on my
index finger. "Hangnail."
Received on Thu Jan 20 18:47:00 2011