Funeral Planning

"Dead Donkey"*

*A Hillbilly named, Shawn Bob, moved to Texas and
bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The
farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry,
but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

"Well, then, just give me my money back."

"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

"OK, then. Just unload the donkey."

"What ya gonna do with him?"

"I'm going to raffle him off."

"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with the Hillbilly and
asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

"I raffled him off. I sold 500 hundred tickets at two dollars
apiece and made a profit of $898."

"Didn't anyone complain?"

"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

********************************************************

"Funeral Planning"*

*Pauly got a job as a casket salesman in the
local funeral home. He's talking to this old guy,
who's come in to plan his funeral for "one of these days."

"Now, sir," says Pauly, " think you'll want this
model. It's a beautiful piece of equipment, and a steal at $8,000."

"No," said the old guy, "that's really too much
for a casket. How much is THIS one right here?"

"Oh," said Pauly, "it's the bottom of the line and is just $2,000."

"I think I'd like that one," said the old guy.

"Wait just a minute, sir. This casket is very narrow.
You just lie down in here and TRY to spread your elbows!"
Received on Wed Jan 5 08:16:33 2011