Very Taxiing Relationship

"Very Taxiing Relationship"*

*A man walked out into the street in New York, and
managed to flag down a taxi just driving by.

He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, " Perfect
timing. You're just like Dave."

The passenger said, "Who?"

The cabbie said, "Dave Bronson. Now there's a guy
who did everything right. Like my coming along just
when you needed a cab. It would have happened
like that to Dave."

The rider said, "Well, nobody's perfect."

The cabbie said, "Dave was. He was a terrific athlete.
He could have gone on the pro tour in golf. He could
have played tennis with the best pros. He sang like an
opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. He
had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's
birthday. He could fix anything, not like me. If I change
even a fuse, I black out the whole neighborhood."

The rider said, "No wonder you remember him."

The cabbie said, "Well, no I never actually met Dave."

The rider asked, "Then how do you know so much about him?"

The cabbie exclaimed, " I married his widow!"

********************************************************

"Divorce For Wear"*

*A married couple is driving down the interstate doing
55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks
over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been
married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
 
The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
 
She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it,
because I've been having an affair with your best friend,
and he's a better lover than you."

Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as he
clenches his hands on the wheels.
 
She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds
up, and now is doing 70 mph.

She says, "I want the kids too." The husband just keeps
driving faster, and faster, until he's up to 80 mph.
 
She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all
the credit cards too." The husband slowly starts to veer
toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there
anything you want?"
 
The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need right here."

She asks, "What's that?"
 
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90
mph, "I've got the airbag!"
Received on Sun Jan 2 08:55:19 2011