Things You'll Never Hear In A Western..

"Things You'll Never Hear In A Western Movie"*

*"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with
a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless
reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a
more intuitive solution."

"Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room."

"Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

"Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good
coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you 'n' me... what
say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"

"Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three
grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

"You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell
Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

"That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who
shot my therapist!"

"He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I
reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

"Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

"It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone,
women is from Dodge."

"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the
left....Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"
Received on Sat Feb 12 11:00:40 2011