Helpful Tips to Make Life Simple

"Helpful Tips to Make Life Simple"*

*Old telephone books make ideal personal address
books. Simply cross out the names and addresses
of people you don't know.

Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive
car phone by holding an old TV or video remote
control up to your ear and occasionally swerving
across the road and mounting the curb.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield
wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave
your car parked illegally.

No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape
and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.

Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping
them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on
your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet,
in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).

If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their
throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of
whiskey. The following morning you can create
the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble
full of dish washing liquid and banging your head
repeatedly on the wall.
Received on Sat Feb 12 02:14:30 2011