Good Use For Tobacco

"Good Use For Tobacco"*

*A tobacco company sent Dave several packages
of cigarettes with the explanation: "We are sending
you some of our finest cigarettes. We hope you
enjoy them and will want more."

After several months the tobacco company received
this reply from Dave: "I got your cigarettes and soaked
them in a quart of water which I sprayed on my bug-
infested rosebushes. Every bug died!

These cigarettes make best poison ever! Please send
me some more next year in case any bugs survived."

**********************************************************

"Old and New Concerns"*

*Old and new concerns for people of the baby boom generation.

Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.

Then: Keg
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's hot.

Then: You're growing pot.
Now: Your growing pot.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
{Ok, so this joke is a little old.}

Then: Seeds and stems.
Now: Roughage.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.
{Ok, REALLY old.}

Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.

Then: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
Now: Being caught by Hustler magazine.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.

Then: Hoping for a BMW.
Now: Hoping for a BM.

Then: The Grateful Dead.
Now: Dr. Kevorkian.

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.
Received on Thu Sep 30 07:27:05 2010