Getting a Tan

"Getting a Tan"

It was cold and rainy at the Atlantic Ocean resort where
I was spending my vacation, but I finally bundled up and
went down to the beach. There I saw a man in a bathing
suit, lying on a large beach blanket. I walked up to him
and asked why he was punishing himself that way.

"I've been waiting all year for this vacation so I could
get some color," he said. "And I'm going to get it -
even if it's blue."

*****************************************************

"Fantastic Watch"*
*{From the Archives}

Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge
and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks
up to him and asks, "Have you got the time?"

Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his
wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.

"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger.

Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. It's an invention
of mine I've been working on. Check this out" - and he
shows him a time zone display not just for every time
zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolises.

He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch
a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas
accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says
something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional
accents for each city." The display is unbelievably high
quality and the voice is simply astounding.

The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all,"
says Jake. He pushes a few more buttons and a tiny but
very high-resolution map of New York City appears on the
display. "The flashing dot shows our location by satellite
positioning," explains Jake.

"Zoom out," Jake says, and the display changes to show
all of eastern New York state.

"I want to buy this watch!" says the stranger.

"Oh, no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the
bugs," says the inventor.

"But look at this," and he proceeds to demonstrate that the
watch is also a very creditable little FM radio receiver with
a digital tuner, a sonar device that can measure distances
up to 125 meters, a pager with laser paper printout and,
most impressive of all, the capacity for voice recordings of
up to 3000 standard-size books, "though I only have 32 of
my favorites in there so far" says Jake.

"I've got to have this watch!" says the stranger.

"No, you don't understand; it's not ready..."

"I'll give you $1,000 for it!"

"Oh, no, I've already spent more than..."

"I'll give you $5,000 for it!"

"But it's just not..."

"I'll give you $15,000 for it!" And the stranger pulls out
a checkbook.

Jake stops to think. He's only put about $8,500 into
materials and development, and with $15,000 he
can make another one and have it ready for
merchandising in only six months.

The stranger frantically finishes writing the check and
waves it in front of him. "Here it is, ready to hand to
you right here and now. $15,000. Take it or leave it."

Jake abruptly makes his decision. "OK", he says, and
peels off the watch.

They make the exchange and the stranger starts happily away.

"Hey, wait a minute!" calls Jake after the stranger, who
turns around warily.

Jake points to the two suitcases he'd been trying to
wrestle through the bus station.

"Don't forget your batteries."
Received on Wed Sep 1 00:13:34 2010