Teenager Daughter Owner's Manual

"First Ride"

No one is more cautious than a first-time parent.
After our daughter was big enough to ride on
the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier
with a seat belt and got her a little helmet.

The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double-
checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to
the end of the driveway, carefully looked both
ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar,
accidentally kicked her right in the chin.

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"Teenager Daughter Owner's Manual"

Instructions for all those with teenage daughters or
daughters who think they are teenagers or who will eventually be teenagers.

Teenager Owner's Manual Congratulations! You are
now the proud new owner of a teenage daughter.

Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the
maintenance of your new daughter, and answers
important questions about your warranty (which
does NOT include the right to return the product to
the factory for a full refund.)

IF YOU FEEL, YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR:

To determine whether you were supposed to receive
a teenager girl, please examine your new daughter carefully. Does she:

(a) look very similar to your original daughter, only
with more makeup and less clothing?

(b) refuse to acknowledge your existence on the
planet Earth (except when requesting money)?

(c) Sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry?

If any of these are true, you have received the correct item.

Nice try, though.
Received on Fri Oct 29 14:17:35 2010