Drinking Problem

"Lonesome Drunk"*

*A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and,
after staring for some time at the only woman
seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his
hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry.
I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a
BITCH!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her.

****************************************************

"Drinking Problem"*

*Harry had a bit of a drinking problem.

Every night, after dinner, he took off for the local
watering hole. He spent the whole evening there,
and arrived home, well inebriated, around midnight each night.

He always had trouble getting his key into the
keyhole, and getting the door opened. His wife,
waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him
in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at
him, for his constant nights out, and coming home
in a drunken state. But, Harry continued his nightly routine.

One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her
husband's behavior, and was particularly distraught by it all.

The friend listened to her, and then said, "Why don't
you treat him a little differently when he comes home?
Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some
loving words, and welcome him home with a kiss? He
then might change his ways." The wife thought it was worth trying.

That night, Harry took off again, after dinner. And,
about midnight, he arrived home, in his usual condition.
His wife heard him at the door, quickly went to it,
opened the door, and let Harry in.

This time, instead of berating him, as she had always
done, she took his arm, and led him into the living room.
She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on
the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went
behind him, and started to cuddle him a little. After a
while, she said to him, "It's pretty late. I think we had
better go upstairs to bed now, don't you?"

At that, Harry replied, in his inebriated state, "I guess
we might as well. I'll get in trouble when I get home anyway!"
Received on Fri May 21 06:43:28 2010