Zoo Employment

"Questions Most Often Asked At A 99-Cent Store"*

*10. "How much is this?"

9. "Is this necklace real gold?"

8. "Do these Tampa Bay Devil Rays sweatshirts come in medium?"

7. "So let me get this straight -- everything here is 99 cents?"

6. "How much is this?"

5. "Do you have anything nicer for $1.99 ?"

4. "How much is this 'Best of Ray Stevens' CD?"

3. "Didn't this used to be a White Castle?"

2. "Do you have change of a dollar bill?"

1. "Can someone go to the bank and get more pennies?"

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"Zoo Employment"*

*This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo.
As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had
passed away the night before and they had carefully
preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay
him well if he would dress up in the gorilla's skin and
pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.

Well, the guy has his doubts, but Hey! He needs the
money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the
cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to
the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad,
he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show,
jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his
balance and crashes through some safety netting,
landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies
there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts
screaming, "Help, Help, Help!"

The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest
and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"
Received on Thu May 13 09:56:19 2010