Heaven

"Elevator"*

*There's this cathedral that's still being worked on,
and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside
so they can get material up and down to the upper floors.

A characteristic of these 'cage elevators' is that the
doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be
'called' to another floor.

One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes
the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently
needed on the first floor by the sexton.

Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open.

After the sexton rings for the elevator a couple times,
to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down.

Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight:

The sexton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling
to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATES!!!"

*****************************************************

"Heaven"*

*Saint Peter had a terrible cold and fever and didn't think
he would last the day minding the Pearly Gates of Heaven.
So he phoned Jesus to ask for the day off.

"Why, Peter," Jesus said. "You know your health is my first
concern. Take as much time as you need."

As Jesus pondered who he might use to replace Peter, he
decided to handle the job himself. It was a very slow day
and no one approached the Gates until late in the afternoon,
when in the distance, Jesus saw a bent, white-haired old
man slowly making his way up the path with the aid of a gnarled cane.

As the man neared, Jesus said, "Good afternoon, sir. How may I help you?"

"Well," replied the man, "I was hoping to enter the Gates of Heaven."

"We would certainly love to have you," said Jesus, "but we
do have certain rules as to who can enter Heaven. Tell me,
what have you done to deserve such an honor?"

"Actually, I have done nothing so wonderful myself," said
 the man. "I lived in a small town and led a simple life as
a carpenter. But my son," he continued, "now HE was special!"

With pride in his voice he said, "I raised him to be a carpenter
like myself and did my best to teach him right from wrong.
And when he grew older, an amazing transformation overcame
him and to this day he's known throughout the world and loved by all
alike."

As Jesus listened to the story, a sense of recognition came
to him. With a lump in his throat and a tear in his eye, he
threw open his arms and cried, "Father!"

Emotional at this outburst, the old man threw open his arms and yelled,
"Pinocchio?"
Received on Sat Jun 12 11:04:47 2010