Computerized Airliner

"Computerized Airliner"*

*The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready
for its maiden flight without pilots or crew.

The plane taxied to the loading area automatically,
its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically.

The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.

The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed,
and the airplane taxied toward the runway.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a computer voice intoned.

"Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully
computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is
run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing
can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...nothing can go wrong...."

******************************************************

"Come Fly With Me"*

*The photographer for a national magazine was assigned
to get photos of a huge forest fire. Smoke at the scene
was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically
called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting
for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough,
a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in
with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!"

The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer,
"and make three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer,
and photographers take pictures!"

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"
Received on Sat Jul 31 22:34:35 2010