Winning

"Winning"*

*I saw an interview on TV where this one
old farmer won ten million in the Lottery.

Naturally he was asked what he was gonna do with all that money.

He kinda scratched his head and said, "Not
sure as I know right off. Guess I'll keep farmin' till it's all gone."

****************************************************

"Five"*

*I was walking down the street the other day when I saw
my buddy Doug. I walked up to him and mentioned
that I had the most bizarre dream the night before last.

Doug listened intently as I told him that the dream
consisted of one thing and one thing only. So I told him
that all I had dreamt about was a huge glowing number
 "5." It made of gold and sparkled with diamonds.

Doug's curiosity was peaked. I went on to say that the
first thing that I did in the morning was to grab the daily
racing digest and look up the fifth race. Doug raised an
eyebrow. So I told him that the #5 horse in the fifth race
was named "The Fifth Element." Doug started grinning.
Then I told Doug point-by-point what I did that day.

I ate five bowls of cereal for breakfast and drank five
cups of coffee - I went for a five mile jog to clear my head -
I took a five minute shower - I dressed in the fifth suit I
found in my closet - I sat in my car for five minutes before
starting it up - I drove to the racetrack and parked in the
fifth stall in the fifth row - I entered through the fifth
admissions gate - I bought five programs - I went to the
fifth betting window and bet $555 on the fifth horse in
the fifth race - I went and sat in the fifth row of the
bleachers making sure there were five people sitting
on either side of me. I settled in and waited for the race to start.

"Well," said Doug. "Did the horse win?"

I smiled at Doug and said, "Of course not, he came in fifth."
Received on Sat Jul 31 22:23:05 2010