Tips For Rednecks II

"Martha Stewart's Tips For Rednecks II"*

*DATING (Outside the Family):

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've
been wanting to go out with you since I read that
stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected
back. Some will say 10:00 PM, others might say "Monday."
If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility
to get her to school on time.

WEDDINGS:

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 15 seconds may get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit
with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special
occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE:

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even
if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with
the largest tires does not always have the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas
can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
Received on Tue Feb 23 11:18:54 2010