Golf & Grass

"Golf & Grass"*

*A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with
waning enthusiasm for the sport.

"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.

"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," wheezed a second.

"And somehow, the sand traps seem to be bigger
than I remember 'em too," said the third.

Hearing just about enough from his buddies, the
oldest, and the wisest of the foursome at 87-years-
old, piped up and said, "Oh my friends, just be
thankful we're still on THIS side of the grass!"

************************************************

"Growing Older"*

*An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were
beginning to forget many little things around the house.
They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one
of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove
and thus cause a fire.

So, they decided to go see their doctor to get some help.
Their physician told them that many people their age find
it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders.

The elderly couple thought this sounded wonderful, and
left the doctor's office very pleased with the advice.

When they got home, the wife said, "Honey, will you please
go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why
don't you write that down so you won't forget?"

"Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream!"

"Well," said the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries on it.
You better write that down, because I know you'll forget."

"Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream
and some strawberries. I can remember that!"

"OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on
top. Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget," said
the wife.

"Come now, my memory's not all that bad," said the husband.
"No problem, a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream."

With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him.
The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans, and
making some noise inconsistent with his preparing a dish
of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream. He emerged
from the kitchen about 15 minutes later.

Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs.

The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her
husband and said, "Hey, where's the toast?"
Received on Sun Feb 21 19:09:16 2010