Privates On Parade

"Fresh Popped Lieutenant"*

*A lieutenant was brilliant in military matters, but
lacked a few social graces. One day he called
a soldier in to the office and said, "Kramer, your
grandmother died."

The soldier fell apart. After he left, the colonel told
the lieutenant, "You could have been a little more
tactful. I have some books at home that could help you."

The lieutenant read the half-dozen books lent him
by the colonel and was ready for the next crisis.
Private Taylor's grandfather had passed away.

The next morning, at reveille, the lieutenant said,
"Men, how many of you have a grandfather still living?
Not so fast, Private Taylor!"

***************************************************

"Privates On Parade"*

*Two generals, one from the Army, and one from
the Air Force, were having a debate with a Navy
Admiral about whose soldiers were the bravest.

To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over
an airman: "Airman! Climb that flagpole, and
once you are at the top, sing 'Wild Blue Yonder', and then jump off!"

"YES SIR!" replies the airman. He takes off for the flagpole
like a shot, scales up it, sings the anthem, salutes and
jumps off, hitting the ground at attention.

The general dismisses him. "Now that's bravery!" exclaims the general.

"Bravery, nothing," snorts the Army general. "Get over here, private!"

"YES SIR!!" replies the private.

"Put on full combat gear, load your rucksack with these
rocks, scale that flagpole, come to attention, present
arms, and sing the National Anthem, salute each of us,
and then climb back down, head first."

"YES SIR!!" replies the private, and completes the task.

"Now that is a brave man! Beat that!!"

They look to the Marine. "Private," he says.

"YES SIR!!"

"Put on full combat gear. Put these two dogs in your pack.
Using only one hand, climb that flagpole. At the top, sing
'The Halls of Montezuma', put your knife in your teeth, and
dive off, headfirst."

The private snaps to attention, looks at the general and
says, "TO HELL WITH YOU SIR!!"

The general turns to the others and says, "Now THAT'S bravery!"
Received on Wed Dec 29 00:34:02 2010