Post-Thanksgiving Feast Disorder

"Post-Thanksgiving Feast Disorder"*

*Some people see the turkey
Roasted to a golden brown
Some people think of families
That come from out of town.

Some remember fondly
That there's no school for the day,
And maybe one or two are glad
That Grandma comes to stay.

But when I think "Thanksgiving"
I have some different wishes,
'Cause for me it usually means
Just stacks of dirty dishes!

*****************************************

"Wild Turkey Tale"*

*Larry Lands Sr. suffered a shotgun wound to one
of his legs. The assailant was a dead turkey.

Larry Sr. and his son, Larry Jr., had been out poaching
in Washington County, Missouri, when Larry Jr.
spotted an eastern wild turkey.

After successfully calling the bird in to his range, Larry Jr.
shot the bird. It was not yet the season for wild turkey
hunts, so Larry Jr. had to hurry up and bag the bird as
fast as he could, tossing the prize into the trunk of their
car, along with his semi-automatic shotgun.

After several minutes of sounds coming from the trunk
of the car, the Lands duo stopped their car to investigate.
(For those of you unaware of the neurological phenomenon
of fowl, turkeys, much like chickens, have an pseudo-
active nervous system which can last many minutes even
after the body has died.)

Upon opening the trunk of the car, they saw the turkey,
standing on its own two feet, flapping its wings and
obviously reacting in the way that dying birds behave.

Unsure of what to do, they slammed shut the trunk of
the car, at which point the turkey slipped onto the
shotgun's trigger, discharging a round through the
body of the car, and lodging itself into the leg of Mr. Lands Sr.

[Publisher's Note: The moral of the story? Always fully
discharge your shotgun after use, leave the safety on,
and for heaven's sake, beware of the dying bird!]
Received on Fri Nov 27 09:23:57 2009