Drunk Again

"The Horrible Accident"*

*I went to the pub with my grandfather and bought
a couple of pints of beer. My grandfather looked at
his beer for a second and then, "SLURP", he drank
it down in one.

"Are you alright grandad?" I asked. "Yep" he said.
So, I went to the bar and bought another two pints.

Again, he looked at it for a second and then, "SLURP"
down it all went again in one go.

"Come on, grandad. Tell me why you're drinking like that."

"It's ever since the accident," he said.

"What accident's that?" I asked.

"I was in here last night and some SOB spilled my beer."

*******************************************************

"Drunk Again"*

*A man went into a bar and ordered several shots
of vodka. By the time the bar was closing, he was
wasted. He got up to leave and fell flat on his face.
"Well, I don't want the bartender to think I'm drunk,
so I'll pretend I tripped and I'll try it again." So he
gets up and falls on his face.

"Well, the door's not too far away; I'll just crawl."

When he gets outside he thinks, "Well, I only live
four blocks away; I can make it that far."

So he stands up and falls on his face. He decides
he'll try it 1 block at a time, and at every block he
falls flat on his face. Finally he makes it home,
stands up and falls on the bed.

In the morning his wife wakes him up.

"You were drunk again last night, weren't you?"

"How did you know?"

"The bartender called. He said you left your
wheelchair at the bar."
Received on Tue Nov 3 02:02:05 2009