Late for Work

"Late for Work"*

*Early one morning, my husband, who works in a
funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe
abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency
room, where tests were performed to determine
the source of the pain.

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for
him until we knew what was wrong. When the
results came back, the nurse informed us that,
true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone.

I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you
like me to call the funeral home now?"

With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and
snapped, "Honey, he is not THAT sick!"

**********************************************

"Expensive Funeral"*

*Bob died. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate
funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his
wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I am
sure Bob would be pleased," she said.

"I am sure you are right," replied Judy, who lowered
her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."

"No!" Judy exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Helen answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated
$500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were a
nother $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

"Judy computed quickly, $22,500 for a memorial stone?
My Lord, how big is it?"

"Two and a half carats."
Received on Mon Mar 9 07:12:15 2009