Charm School

"Beauty Cream" *

*Husband and wife are shopping in Safeway when
the man picks up a dozen Bud Lites and sticks it into the trolley.

"What do you think you are doing?" asks the wife.

"They are on special, only $10 for 12 cans," he says.

"Put them back. We cannot afford it," says the wife and they carry on
shopping.

A few aisles later, the woman picks up a $20 jar of
face cream and sticks it into the trolley.

"What do you think you are doing?" asks the man.

"It is my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," she says.

The man replies, "So does 12 bottles of Bud Lite and it is half the price."

***********************************************************

"Charm School" *

*Two nicely dressed women happen to start up a
conversation during an endless wait in the LA airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South.

When the conversation centered on whether they had
any children the California woman started by saying,
"When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for
me."

The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was
born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz."

Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?" *

The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born,
my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman then asked her companion, "What did
your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh my goodness!
What on earth for?" asked the first woman.

The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead
of saying, "Who gives a damn?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that
precious?"
Received on Wed Mar 4 07:00:07 2009