Never The Twain Shall Sneak

"Unscrupulous Businessman"*

*An unscrupulous businessman was feeling very ill
and went to the doctor. The doctor examined him
and backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell you
this, but you have an advanced case of highly
infectious rabies. You must have had it for some
time. It will almost certainly be fatal."

"Could you give me a pen and paper?" said the businessman.

"Do you want to write your will?"

"No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to bite."

****************************************************

"Never The Twain Shall Sneak"*

*Mark Twain once encountered a friend at the
races who said, "I'm broke. I wish you'd buy
me a ticket back to town."

Twain said, "Well, I'm pretty broke myself, but
I'll tell you what to do. You hide under my seat,
and I'll cover you with my legs."

It was agreed. Twain then went to the ticket
office and bought two tickets.

When the train was underway and the supposed
stowaway was snug under the seat, the conductor
came by, and Twain gave him the two tickets.

"Where is the other passenger?" asked the conductor.

Twain tapped his forehead and said in a loud
voice, "That is my friend's ticket. He's a little
eccentric and likes to ride under the seat."
Received on Sat Jun 20 06:55:20 2009