Marriage Quips

"Marriage Quotes"*

*"Marriage is a matter of give and take, but
so far I haven't been able to find anybody
who'll take what I have to give."
-- Cass Daley

"I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever
I feel like getting married, they send over a
lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me."
-- Dick Martin

"If you never want to see a man again, say,
'I love you, I want to marry you, I want to
have children...' they leave skid marks."
-- Rita Rudner

"The husband who wants a happy marriage
should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."
-- Groucho Marx

"The most happy marriage I can imagine to
myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
-- S. T. Coleridge

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"Marriage Quips"*

*A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

Masters and Johnsons surveys said married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes;
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand
a woman, before marriage and after marriage.
Received on Thu Jul 2 07:45:21 2009