Dear Mom

"Dear Mom"*

*A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished
to see that his is bed was nicely made and everything
was picked up. Then she saw an envelope, propped up
prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Mom'.
With the worst premonition she opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to
avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real
passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you
would not approve of her because of all her piercings,
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she
is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...
Mom, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack
of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves and trading it with the other people that
live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime
we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom.
I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that
you can get to know your grandchildren.
 
Love,
Your Son Paul

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at
Dustin's house. I just wanted to remind you that
there are worse things in life than the report card
that's in my center desk drawer!

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home!
Received on Mon Jan 19 08:01:33 2009