Fashion Guidelines

"Fashion Guidelines"*

*Many of us [those over 40, WAY over 40, or
hovering near 40] are quite confused about how
we should present ourselves.

We are unsure about the kind of image we are
projecting and whether or not we are correct as
we try to conform to current fashions. Despite
what you may have seen, the following combinations
DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirt and support hose

5. Ankle bracelet and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly ring and a gall bladder scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirt and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop!

**************************************************

"Losing Weight"*

*Walter was sitting in the doctor's office for his annual
physical going over a few fine points about his health with his doctor.

The doctor said, "Your blood pressure is a little high,
you know Walter, you need to watch your diet and lose a little weight."

"But doc, I'm losing weight more and more each day."

"Oh really? How are you doing it?" asked the doctor.

"Well, just six weeks ago, I'd eat lunch at 12:00 and
have a snack around 3:00. Just today I had breakfast
at 7:30, waited 2 hours, had a snack at 9:30 then I
waited an hour and a half and ate lunch at 11:00,
then I waited 45 minutes and had a snack before coming here."

"And with this regiment you're losing weight?" asked the doctor.

"Yeah," Walter said excitedly. "More meals and less wait!"
Received on Sat Jan 17 07:14:45 2009