Santa on Trial

"Dumb Tommy"*

*Tommy's house is packed with relatives for Christmas
dinner. Grandpa calls 6 year old Tommy and starts
asking about school, girlfriends and other stuff he can
think of. After a while, grandpa notices that Tommy is
loosing interest in the conversation so he pulls out two
bills from his wallet to see if he can keep him interested.
A ten and a twenty dollar bill. He shows both bills to
Tommy and tells him that he can keep any one he chooses.
Tommy reaches over and grabs the ten dollar bill.

Grandpa is pretty surprised and upset about the unwise
decision his grandchild made, pulls out another ten dollar
bill to see if it was a mistake. Again, he tells Tommy to
take one of the bills and keep it.

Tommy grabs the other ten.

Grandpa again is surprised and upset.

He takes Tommy over to one of the uncles and shows
him how dumb Tommy is in choosing the ten over the
twenty. Grandpa goes on and on showing every uncle
and cousin and each time Tommy chooses the ten over
the twenty. Grandpa finally shows the stunt to daddy.
Daddy's quite surprise but doesn't pay too much attention at the moment.

A few hours later, daddy who is very concerned about
Tommy's poor decision, walks up to him and asks him
if he knows the difference between a ten dollar bill and a twenty.

"Of course," answers Tommy.

"So why did you always choose the ten over the twenty?" asks dad.

Tommy, with a wide smile answers, "Well dad, if I would
have chosen the first twenty dollar bill, do you think
grandpa would have played the game fifteen more times?"

********************************************************

"Santa on Trial"*

*You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias Saint Nick,
alias Kris Kringle, age unknown, of no fixed abode,
with the following charges:

Failing to apply for landed immigrant status from
Finland to the North Pole;

Crossing the Canadian-USA border illegally on
December 25 of each year as far back as records go;

Failing to operate a union toy shop, and not paying
your elves and dwarfs the minimum wage, provide
paid vacations and wages at time and a half for
more than 40 hour work weeks, or meeting the
standards of the Worker's Compensation Boards

Failing to transmit unemployment insurance payments,
income tax deductions and Canada Pension payments
to the proper authorities on behalf of your employees;

You are accused of the illegal entry of millions of
Canadian and American homes on December 25 of each year;

Violating the Federal Anti-Combines Investigation
Act by operating a tight monopoly;

Failing to file a flight plan for your travels;

Failing to equip your vehicle with seat belts or
properly fitting your reindeer with emission control devises;

Not declaring as taxable income the cookies and
milk left for you by millions each year;

Illegally competing with the Canadian Post Office
and USPS, and possible breaking drug laws by
administering an unauthorized drug to Rudolph
to make his nose light up;

And finally, parking in a no parking zone, namely
rooftops, and having no record of either a driver's
or pilot's licence ever being issued to a Mister
Claus in any of the ten provinces and two territories
or 50 US States.

Faced with all these accusations and understanding
their severity, have you any statement to make before I . . .

wish you a . . Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year
and dismiss these charges?
Received on Thu Dec 31 11:59:30 2009