Politically Correct Rudolph

"Politically Correct Rudolph"*

*Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate,

Original: Had a very shiny nose ...
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a
nasal appendage of a bright maroon lustre.

Original: And if you ever saw him ...
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances
were to present themselves that he ever came into your view,

Original: You would even say it glows ...
Translation: You would most undoubtedly
remark at to its illuminable qualities.

Original: All of the other reindeer ...
Translation: The multitude of other members of
the population in his ecological community,

Original: Used to laugh and call him names ...
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled
boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable
pseudonyms -- the objective of which was to
lower his self-esteem and make him miserable.

Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in
any reindeer games ...
Translation: They also excluded him from
participation in leisure activities consistent with their species.

Original: Then one foggy Christmas eve ...
Translation: However, on the twenty-fourth of December in an
unspecified year...

Original: Santa came to say ...
Translation: A mythological, supernatural being
inherent to western culture (who symbolizes
the Christmas attitude and allegedly brings gifts
to children) arrived through the super-saturated, humid air.

Original: Rudolph, with your nose so bright ...
Translation: He formally invited Rudolph, due to his extraordinary
nasal characteristic.

Original: Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
Translation: To stand at the forefront of his snow
vehicle with the express purpose that he navigate through the nocturnal
mist.

Original: Then all the reindeer loved him ...
Translation: At that point, the multitude of other
members of the population in his ecological community
who had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and
dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed their
disposition toward Rudolph to a more congenial, amicable relationship.

Original: And they shouted out with glee ...
Translation: They consequently exclaimed with great exaltation and fervor,

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...
Translation: Rudolph, the antlered mammal with a maroon nasal appendage,

Original: You'll go down in history!
Translation: You shall most certainly be recorded in
the annals of time, and your memory will be preserved for posterity!
Received on Mon Dec 28 02:05:24 2009