Bad Day in the Snow

"Church"*

*The Catholic Church's air conditioning broke down,
so they had to hire a man to crawl around in the
ducts and figure out what was wrong. As the man
peeked down through one of the vents in the
sanctuary, he saw little old Mrs. Murphy kneeling
by the altar, apparently saying her rosary.

Since the man was a fundamental Baptist, he
thought it'd be funny to try and mess with the lady's
mind. In his best authoritative voice, he said, "This is
Jesus. Your prayers will be answered."

The little old lady didn't even blink, just kept on saying
her prayers. The man decided maybe she didn't hear him, and tried again.

"This is Jesus, the Son of G~d! Your prayers will be answered!"

Again, she didn't react at all. Mustering up a big
breath of air, the man decided to try again. "THIS
IS JESUS CHRIST, THE SON OF G~D! YOUR PRAYERS WILL BE ANSWERED!"

The lady looks up and says, "SHUT UP! I'M TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER!"

***********************************************************

"Bad Day in the Snow"*

*The snow was coming down steadily and had been for
several hours. My partner had been plowing for a couple
of hours already, and I had just changed places with
him and started to clear a new lot. I always plow the
access points to the lot last to keep people out of my
way, so here I am just getting started on this lot, which
just happens to be a car wash, and this car stops in the
middle of the street and starts honking and flashing his lights.

My partner gets out thinking that the guy is having car
trouble, so he goes to help while I continue plowing. He
comes back and says, "You're not gonna believe it, he
wants to wash his car." I said, "Does he realize it's 28
degrees?" My partner replies, "Yes, he knows but he just
has to try it." Well, I clear him a path to the nearest wash
bay and continue to clear the lot, which takes roughly 45 minutes.

Meanwhile, after washing his car, the guy goes into the
managers office to talk over a cup of coffee. I leave the
lot and go down the street to another customer.

About 30 minutes later, I drive by the wash and notice
the same car is still there with its owner prying on his
now frozen doors. By the way this is a Taurus with plastic
door handles. I pick up my cell phone and beep the wash
manager. He calls me back, and I tell him what is going on.
Just as he steps outside, still talking to me on the phone,
the guy breaks the door handle and goes flying into a
snow drift loosing his hat and glasses. After crawling
around in the snow, he finds his hat, full of snow, and
moments later his glasses. Now the manager is on the
scene. He uses the hot pressure washer to steam open
the passenger side door and let the guy in. Now he
starts the car to help melt the ice, and again goes inside for coffee.

I am now plowing the lot directly across the street, and
I have been watching the whole thing from a distance.
My phone rings again and guess what? He let it run out
of gas. The manager takes a gas can up the street,
brings back a couple of gallons of gas and puts it in the
car himself , we don't want to take any chances now, we
just want this guy to get home before he does some real
damage. The guy starts his car again, leaves the wash and drives away.

Does the story end here............ NO!!!!!

He stops at the nearest gas station, fills the car and
drives away with the nozzle still in the tank tearing the
pump from its base. Talk about your bad days!!
Received on Mon Dec 28 02:00:55 2009