Non-Burning Souls

"Non-Burning Souls"*

*A curious fellow died one day and found himself
waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood
there he noticed that some souls were allowed
to march right through the pearly gates into
heaven. Others, though, were led over to Satan
who threw them into the burning pit.

But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul
into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one
side into a small pile.

After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's
 curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and
asked Satan,

"Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm
waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help
wondering, why are you tossing those people
aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell
with the others?"

"Ah, those..." Satan said with a groan. "They're all
from Seattle, they're too wet to burn."

************************************************

"Drive Through Confessional"*
*
The local parish had a fairly new priest. He had
wonderful, innovative ideas that were, for the
most part accepted by the congregation.

His mentor - a "higher ranking" priest came for
a visit - to see how he was doing.

After looking the parish over, the senior priest
said, "Father John, your idea of a drive through
confessional is wonderful. That makes it so
convenient for your church members.

And, Father John, it was a really good idea to
have the confessional open 24 hours a day,
for those who work "shift" work.

However, Father John... that flashing neon sign
that says "TOOT and TELL or GO to HELL" ...
well, it has GOT TO GO!!
Received on Tue Dec 8 21:56:06 2009