Checking on Neighbors

"Checking on Neighbors"*

*It's important to check on your neighbors regularly, especially if
they're elderly.
Just knock on their doors and ask if they're OK.

You: "Hello! Is anyone there?"

Female neighbor (shouting from behind her door):

"Whatever you're selling, we don't want any. That includes religion."

You: "I'm not selling anything. I'm your neighbor.
Just stopping by to make sure you aren't dead."

Neighbor: "Dead? No, I don't think I'm dead. But I'm
not sure about my husband. He hasn't moved from
the couch since 1983. Do you think that's abnormal?"
 
You: "Only if he isn't holding the remote."

***************************************************************

"10 Signs You Should Ask Your Boss For A Raise"*

*10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in
hysterical laughter.

9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance.

8. Your only charge cards are for the Salvation Army, ARC, and DAV
thrift stores.

7. You work full time and you still qualify for food stamps.

6. You empty out your piggy bank and then cook the bank and serve it for
your Easter ham.

5. All you can think about morning, noon and night is clipping grocery
coupons.

4. You file your income taxes and the IRS returns them stamped, "Charity
Case -- Return To Sender."

3. You set the world record for mailing $1.00 rebate requests to Young
America, Minnesota.

2. You pay all your bills, put your remaining $1 bill into your billfold
and it goes into shock.

1. You get arrested for taking the coins out of the fountain in the mall.
Received on Tue Sep 23 08:06:15 2008