GOLF

"GOLF"*

*In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was
entitled Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden....
and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

GOLFER, n. a guy who has the advantage over
a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home
anything when he brags he had a great day.

"One of the advantages bowling has over golf
is that you seldom lose a bowling ball."
-- Don Carter, pro bowler
 
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.
 
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head
down is so you can't see him laughing.
 
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's
golf game. It is called an eraser.
 
Tee your ball high...air offers less resistance than dirt.
 
Life is like a game of golf: you drive hard to get to
the green and then you end up in a hole.
 
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the
ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft;
today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
 
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of
tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

*************************************************

"More Daffinitions"*

*ARBITRATOR: A cook who leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.

AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do.

BALONEY: Where some hemlines fall.

BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with.

CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate.

COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

HEROES What a guy in a boat does.

MISTY: How golfers create divots.

PARISITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

RELIEF: What trees do in the spring.

SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official.
Received on Tue Sep 23 08:03:55 2008